*R is for*

RANDOM....

I haven been here for ages, not counting my last post la which had a grand total of 1 sentence..It was not like there was nothing to say or nothing eventful in my life.. A lot in fact and these are just the things that i still can remember. Why i left this post all desolate was simply choice i guess..

I had a lot of comments on this blog, on my life and about me altogether and i do not want to prolong it by adding things here and generate more hype and spice for the rumor mongers to churn..I do not want to go to the extent and said i have matured but i guess i have aged quite a bit, if i managed to find a decent way out i'd take it nowadays rather than a full frontal assault on anyone and everyone who blasts me...

I read my posts before and the number of retractions i had to make were few, for the dumb nuts who cannot understand the sentence before this it means i never had to take out my post or say oops i made a booboo... most of the time my anger was justified or the person at the end of my rant probably was a ass.. Sorry to digress but the point that was to be made is although i know i was right many a times when i blasted people or let loose the random thoughts in my head i do not think i should.. Just because I have the right to my own opinion or have a right to speak my mind does not necessarily mean i should..

Still on that note a few words of advice to those who might see this, words said out might be probably forgotten but idiocy you do online is documented, facebook friendster twitter and what not might be a fancy tool now but someday it could get you in trouble.. You never know who's looking and who might look in the future. and its facebook a social networking website not my diary.. Stop washing dirty linen in public is all i am gonna say and last i wanna talk about this..

What else, blast from the past.. you came, you messed, you left... Pure and simple.. No more words, no more apologies and no retractions, i have said what i said and i still stand by it.. BUT this time round i wanna make a change i stop doing the running i stop with however it has been so far.. MSN sweetheart? ure blocked... Email? Deletion without reading, My number- Changed.. Your blog address deleted, short and simple i am flushing you out.. Someday in cruel twist of fate we might meet and its high time her majesty does some work to make this work.. I am so done with you..

I have been really messed up this year.. i know my life needs some change and i know i want to do some things but i just do not know how to do it.. I want to change but do not know the end product i want to become, i want to move on but to where i have yet to locate. Its easy to work towards a goal but i do not know what my goal is.. If at least at a crossroad you have roads to choose i am at a dead end and the steps behind me are gone.. Confused and lost i made a ton of mistakes and bad judgement calls i wish i can say it ends but as i write this i still have yet to figure out a reason to move..

I found out that i really believe that God makes all of us with holes and never are we complete.. The holes are filled with love, your parents and family as you grow, added with the love of friendship, Your one special one, and the little ones that come with your special one and so forth.. When this holes are filled by love this people bring to us that is when we become complete..

But yet at this point of time i really see the holes, like a dusty western i feel i have been on a shootout with no guns and now i am peering at the holes in me which make me incomplete(cue backstreet boys-Incomplete) :) but yeah things will pick up and i learnt something very valuable this year.. Not many of you are capable to be able to take what i would say about it so i'll keep mum about it but it has opened my life and i am working towards developing this skill.

Blady long post innit, well had to make up for lost time.. This blog is now officially reopened and i am back, for good this time or at least till its time to meet the maker... Till we meet again my frens..

Life's experience makes you stronger.... Rather than questioning it why me, work hard and tell life Try Me instead...